new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
