Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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