I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
