respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
