We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
