I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
