he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
