after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
