you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
