he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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