In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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