Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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