Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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