Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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