Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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