We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
