Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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