Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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