We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
