I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
