I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
