you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My life is pants optional.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
