pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
