Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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