We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
try to milk me bitch
Randomize