My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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