I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
