He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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