I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize