Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
