Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize