Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
