i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize