they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
