Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
