theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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