Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
