i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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