when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
