so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
