do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I didn't notice because vodka
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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