i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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