one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
