and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
