Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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