We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
