went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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