I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
