dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
