maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize