he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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