my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
