Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
