Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
