we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
