just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My ATM looks so different sober.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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