if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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