That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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