M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
