I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
