D3 body, D1 cock
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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