I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
