Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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