I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
