she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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