jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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