i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
