When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
