"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
